The Murray-Kyler Score Show (*The Mary-Tyler Moore Show for you uncultured swine)

Nick Flippers – 10/19/2020 – 11:35pm

First things first, I’m absolutely loving the two game Monday Night Football. Nothing like shutting off Zoom after the 9 to 5 and turning on some good, old-fashioned football. That being said, tonight’s 8:15 game between the Dallas Cowboys and Arizona Cardinals was a bit one-sided. 

It really was all about Kyler Murray.

The dude put on a show. He was running the ball, throwing the ball, throwing the ball to himself—is that even legal? That little toss to himself was just downright cute. Honestly watching Kyler Murray run around the field so much (i.e., use his legs) made feel bad for Dak. I mean, having to watch a man run on your field and take a massive dump on your team, has got to hurt worse than snapping your leg. 

I’ve yet to decide whether or not the Cardinals are legit; when they’re good, they’re really good. But when they’re bad, they’re complete shit. And the Cowboys without Dak are by no means a real challenge, so it’s difficult to really gage the Cardinals promise for this season. One thing is for certain though: Kyler Murray is awesome.

He’s so much fun to watch—I honestly think him being short makes it more enjoyable. I’m not trying to be an Adolf Heightler, but watching him run is like watching a penguin doped up on PCP. He fakes a handoff and then run/waddles like a majestic beast up and down the field. It is truly a spectacle. 

Next week we’re going to see a “Battle of the Birds” when the Cardinals play Russel Wilson and his Seahawks. If Kyler Murray can lead his team to victory against Pete Carrol and his gum-chewing, iron jaw, then I may have to believe that the Arizona Cardinals are fucking legit.