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Jets! Jets! Jets! Suck!

Nick Flippers – 10/18/2020 – ?pm


Coming into the 4 O’clock games, there was only one more winless team remaining in the National Football League: The New York Jets. Granted, nobody that watches football—or has eyes for that matter—thought the Jets would be good. Ever. But to be the only winless team in the NFL is tough. 

Not only are the Jets the only remaining winless team in the league, they are also the first team to be shut out. Talk about getting shit on. Talk about being an embarrassment to the state of New York—that field goal!?—Jesus H. Mary! It was hard enough watching the game in its entirety and I think the whole thing would have been a complete wash if it weren’t for Tua. 

In all honesty, that was the only bright spot on what was otherwise a dismal display on the grid iron; watching Tua’s awkward yet weirdly beautiful, left-handed throw made me chuckle. But forget about Tua for a second (and forget about Fitzmagic’s sexy ass beard) how are the Jets so bad. Is it the QB? Is Joe Flacco (like Sam Darnold) a fan of The Conjuring? Is he also seeing ghosts? Is it the lack of a solid run game? Lack of any offensive or defensive weapons? 

Or is it Adam “Basket” Gase?

I think it’s the works, but some of the blame definitely needs to be placed on the man who wears the headphones. According to a reliable source (Twitter handle – @Michael_Nania) “Gase still has [sic] never spoken to his QB during the game, other than the Ravens game last year where Sam yelled at him and walked away” 

That needs to be unpacked a bit. How do you not speak to your QB during a game? Does your headset not work? What the hell is that about!? You can’t have your quarterback getting slammed to the ground and not give any kind of communication to the guy. That’s downright deplorable. After watching this 24-0 dumpster fire of a game I now understand Le’Veon Bell’s move to the Chiefs. I understood it before (who wouldn’t want to be on a winning team) but now I really see; 

He just didn’t want to get shut out by the Miami Dolphins…

Who would?